Guten Tag, Reader,

I ripped open the back door, threw off my socks, and walked into the wet grass. It took three slow laps around the backyard, and a few deep breaths* before my nervous system finally settled enough for me to sit down and ask:

Why did an app just send me into a spiral of existential despair swirled with anger? Why was I yelling at my device with tears rising from my belly through my chest and throat?

I used to dismiss these moments as hysterical over-reactions,** and have since learned to view all of my emotions and sensations as clues to the mystery of “Who is Sylke?”

There is always something more interesting behind a reaction that feels a little over:

The dude in the pickup truck behind me, tailgating and honking the horn because I am going the speed limit while singing along to Brandi Carlile? Probably afraid of being yelled at for arriving late.

The lady snapping at the store clerk behind the service counter for mixing up an order? Maybe triggered by a childhood memory of being ignored.

Me, yelling at an app for not doing what I thought it should?

Most likely a fight reaction triggered by a deeper fear.

“What am I so afraid of?” I asked the earth beneath my feet.

“What happens if there is something you don’t know how to do?” the land asked back.

Well…

My answer around fear of under-performing and rejection is a topic for a later letter.

For now, let’s come back to the bare feet on the wet grass. The grounding. The balancing.*** It has to come first. An unregulated nervous system prevents any meaningful self-inquiry. (Ask me how I know.)

Turns out, there is science behind the effects:

Walking barefoot on the earth boosts endorphin levels in your body while reducing your stress hormones.

Slowly moving in nature is one of the most underprescribed anti-anxiety medications, and doing it barefoot has even more benefits: Your feet contain thousands of nerve endings, and the flow of sensations to the brain sweeps you right back into the present moment.

Contact with the earth also helps stabilize and reset natural circadian rhythms.

Try it next time you get angry at your junk drawer for hiding the one working pen. Or notice a strong reaction to your partner’s forgetting to pick up bananas at the store.****

Is barefoot outside too edgy for you? You can start with a few minutes indoors. Or even just imagine being barefoot while you're at a meeting with a colleague explaining your job to you.

Always on your side, truly,

P.S. If you want to go deeper than your backyard, and longer than a few minutes here and there, you know you could join me for a walk in Missoula or a whole wild week through Utah’s Gates of Lodore. Here’s an overview of my in-person offers on Forest Bathing Finder.

* My favorite calm-down breathing technique: in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. It works great for me at night, too, when I have trouble falling back asleep.

** One of my internalized patriarchal patterns, perhaps?

*** Also, in Chinese Medicine, spring is the season of the wood element. When in balance, the wood element fosters creativity (tracks with my desire to make art). An imbalance can manifest as irritability, anger, and frustration (well, that also tracks…).

**** I love sharing my personal “banana drama” with my clients as a great example of a fight that’s about something completely different than its trigger.

If you found something valuable in today's letter, why not buy me a coffee? I am keeping my writing AI-free, which means a lot of creativity goes into it. You can leave a tip for me here or Venmo me @sylke-laine.